Are you mad?

We built a wonderful team of crew and cast and couldn’t find anywhere for them to live.

My husband was very scared that we were going to move the whole production office into the lounge room of our house, so he rented to us, very cheaply, two lovely big spaces in his company’s office building - big mistake! My designer decided this was a perfect location to shoot all of our office scenes.

For some reason the staff at the company were really upset when we moved all of their computers and personal belongings into different spots – just to get the right shot!

We were a little ……… disruptive. For example, the room we rehearsed in had two glass double doors that opened out onto the public foyer. A couple of times serious clients in dark suits came out of the lift just as one of my actors was calling the other a *&$%!! bastard and throwing him against a wall. The clients generally left confused and didn’t come back.

But my husband doesn’t work there any more and I’m still married so it’s all ok.

Apparently every First AD in Melbourne was working during our shoot and we couldn’t even find a Second that wanted to step up. My Producer Don had to do it. Now having the Producer on set means that people are generally well behaved. So Don wore both hats quite well. Rather like my DOP who, for most of the shoot was his own grip and gaffer.

We were booked in at a studio for our first day and the first scene was a huge one shot steady cam with 30 extras. Just as we began there was a fire drill!

We had to evacuate the building leaving all our expensive equipment inside. We broke for lunch, while waiting for a late actor who had read his schedule wrongly and thought his call time was 11pm not am.

When we went back to shoot the second scene we were thrown out of our location by a very angry lesbian who apparently also had the studio booked for her angry lesbian music show. We left dejected half a day down after only one day shooting and in need of a new location, which I had to find in three days before I lost two actors.

Once again blessing in disguise as the new location forced me to do some midnight re writing and it turned out a much better scene.

Somewhere in the middle of the shoot we were filming in a house owned by a friend of mine. She had only moved there three weeks before and had just had it painted and re-carpeted.

The day started badly with no one having realized that there was no stock left to shoot on and the shops not yet open. Then the art department realized they had picked up the wrong play back tape, so instead of our pre record playing on the prop tellie, they had last night’s Big Brother. At that point our gaffer swung his ladder into a huge round light globe at the entrance to the house. My regular DOP was away for half the day that day, not that it mattered as we hadn’t shot anything yet, however we had turned day into night in a two story house with a 10 foot wide glass atrium in the middle of it. Which my DOP hated when he turned up and proceeded to re black/light the whole thing from the outside instead of the inside.

When we did start shooting we managed to scrape and dint the newly painted walls, grind prop food into the brand new carpet, break a bowl and we blew a fuse about every 30 mins. At which point I need to go and cry in the toilet.
As I sat down I heard a huge grinding followed by a crack, strange I thought, then as I flushed water just went everywhere. I broke the toilet! Not just a little, right across the porcelain base where it attaches to the wall. Then I had to go out and confess to the crew, and call a plumber.

$600.00 later and my friend is still not talking to me.
The moral is NEVER LET A FILM CREW INTO YOUR HOUSE!

The truth is that this film was only made because all the people involved share a passion for independent Australian cinema, having a voice and telling a story that means something to them. Sometimes the only way is to go out on your own and do it anyway you can.

I had a very experienced team who, like me, wanted to watch something other than period outback drama, one joke comedies or anything with American accents - so they risked a lot for little money to make something relevant to them that they believed in, and I can never thank them enough.